What motivates you?

I was exchanging texts with my HomeWorkOut PT this morning and I told him that I’m ready to give him some feedback since I’m following his program for over a month now.

To be completely honest, I’m pretty impressed with myself. Not only that I have been going to the gym for over a year (3-5 times a week); I’m doing my HomeWorkOut 6 DAYS A WEEK since we are in lockdown and I even picked up running for the first time in my life. (well, the first time that it seems to last)

Usually, I would have assumed that I will give up exercise completely and use the lockdown as an excuse to get back being lazy. Well, this is what the good old Dorina, with her old habits would have done…

What changed?

Well, I guess the most important that I had changed. My mindset had changed.
I also had to find motivation and I had to find the right person who motivates me the right way…

Wait! What? The right way? What do you mean by ‘MOTIVATING THE RIGHT WAY’?

Well, I’ll explain it to you in a sec.

I have been working with different types of people. (you can think of different areas in your life, like workplace or relationships, but I’m sticking to the gym to make it easier to visualize.)

Different types of people are using different styles when it comes to MOTIVATION.
Especially when it comes to your Personal Trainer, your coach, your gym-buddy… — but it can be similar situation with your boss, your spouse, your other half or even with your parents/children.

Some people are celebrating your accomplishments, cheer for you and encourage you. Making you feel ecstatic each time you do something. They go the extra mile to make you feel good and proud.
And because you love this feeling, you do it more and more because you want that feeling.

Other people might be less ‘passionate’ and only give you option A and B.
It’s the kind of ‘MY WAY OR THE HIGHWAY’.
It’s still supportive, but it fully depends on you if you are going to succeed. They show up if you show up, but they are not going to lose sleep if you decide to be ‘lazy f@cr’. They know, that you have to deal with the consequences of your decisions, not them. Option A – You show up, you get results, you are happy. Option B – You don’t show up, you stay in your sh*t and you stay where you were.
It’s not rocket science and they aren’t your babysitters.

There’s another type, who is so committed to your success, that goes wild… The one, who gives out to you when you are not doing it with 200% commitment. The one, who yells at you not to be a weak p*ssy; and the one that makes you do 4 more when you are already DEAD.
And in the end, instead of celebrating, all they say:
WELL, THAT’S WHAT YOU CAME FOR. (These people scare the life out of me)

I have been thinking about what is working for me the best.

I know only very few people who can actually recognize what way a person works best and choose the right ‘tool’, the right way to talk to them and motivate them.

Missing this skill can be one of the reasons why we lose customers, clients, why we can’t find the right tune with our boss or why our relationship fails after the honeymoon period.

If we could recognize what motivates other people, we could use that knowledge in order to motivate them to do things… Things that they want to do, and things that we want them to do.

So, let’s see what motivates people:
-achieving the next level
-completing a task they have never done before
-meeting a deadline (completing a task faster than before – just think about the Guinness record keepers)

-to lifestyle on their own terms (have nice things, do nice things whenever and wherever they want)
-want recognition (get a title, get a trophy)
-want security

-opposition (some people thrive when they go against something or somebody.)
-competition (that person needs to be better than someone else.)
-control (they need to work towards the idea that they are going to get to the top, where they have control over a team, over the industry, over their field of expertise)
-fame (some people just want to be famous, get on the cover of a magazine and that gives them the satisfaction)
-prove someone wrong (if you ask me, this can be a little bit toxic.)
-the need to avoid embarrassment (they work hard towards something to avoid to be called a failure)
-to be the best (must be the best for their ideal client, for their partner, for the job)

-history (some people are driven by making history, so people will remember them long after they are gone.)
-helping others (some people are extremely passionate about helping others to succeed and they go far and beyond to do it.)
-change (they want to create change for the better in industry, in a process, in something that doesn’t work anymore and may be outdated)
-impact (they want to have an impact in someone’s life, or business. They want to create a ripple effect that spreads far and wide.

Wowww… How wonderful we, humans are?
So complex and so beautiful.
Have you recognized yourself? Maybe a little bit of a mixture of two or three?
I’d love to know!

xxx&hugs, Dorina

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